Quote:
Originally Posted by qba335i
How do you motivate your GFs/partners?...
...Example: She was traveling most of last week - came back home on Friday night. On Tuesday around 6pm I told her that by the time I get back from gym (9:30PM) she has to organize her clothes as they were all over the second bedroom and finally clean the receipts (she needs to submit them for reimbursement and they were on the table since Sunday). I also mentioned that it's a 4th day that she is on the couch and it would be nice if she finally signed up for gym... Fast forward a few days and she is still beyond pissed.
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If this how you generally communicate with her, and think it's motivational, you've got some things to learn.
I, for one, would intentionally defy these types of demands from anyone not in a supervisory role...and you're not her boss. Even as a supervisor, motivating someone and stating deadlines can be achieved in a much more productive manner than just barking at them. Not to mention, some clothes and receipts not being put away are quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. You need to assess the entire relationship, including your role in it. Do you love this girl? Why? Are you a dick? Why? Be honest with yourself if you're truly looking for a way to "fix" what you feel is wrong, but, quite honestly, these are really minimal "offenses".
Also, a lack of motivation is often a sign of depression...not necessarily the slit my wrists type, but depression, none the less. There's also seasonal depression, I know I'm effected by it. I don't want to do shit when it's cold and miserable out and dark both going to and coming home from work. My Winters are spent on the couch binge watching everything on Netflix. Come spring, I'm out hiking, boating, swimming, going out, working on cars/projects...Netflix gets cancelled for a few months until fall rolls back around.
Just saying, this might not be "her problem", and/or it might be something she needs a little extra help with that doesn't involve barking orders and telling her she needs to join the gym(when did ever go over well with a female?).