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04-08-2015, 03:33 PM | #90 |
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Pre nups don't protect anything you make after the wedding date What does it being fictional have to do with the point...and he didn't even mention the legal ramifications. Want to prove your point? Then YOU sell me marriage |
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04-08-2015, 03:47 PM | #91 | ||
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In a few months time he's been robbed from having constant contact with his kids and ex is also making him pay for her rest of life. I see it as cruelty and the kids are being used as weapons every step. My country doesn't have a system that would give the female an endless right to burden the ex with their costs. We handle kids together and that's it after papers are signed. A prenup will handel fortunes gained before marriage and everything gets divided. Our women also work, since a it's a matter of pride.
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04-08-2015, 03:55 PM | #92 | |
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The second divorce went smoother. He basically said "I'll give you $10,000 and then we can leave it at that". She accepted. He says that's the best $10,000 he's ever spent. The women around here can be downright awful. I've known quite a few of them who's only main drive in life is to marry a rich guy (there's no shortage of them in the area) so they don't have to work anymore and actually afford the lifestyle they try to live. That said, there's also plenty who have more self respect and ambition. It's the ones who have expensive tastes yet make $40k/year that you have to watch out for. |
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04-08-2015, 04:19 PM | #93 | ||
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The women here in Seattle area scare me. The attitude is so different than what I'm used to. Sure, here I'm mainly a huge waste of space for now since I can't do much that would benefit our family financially and the things I do do cost a lot. If we're to stay here, I need more things to do without giving up sleeping completely (I play with stocks back home. 10 hour time difference rocks ) and I need to build a house again. My cars, hobbies, kids are still a small cost compared to the things I hear. And the worst for me is that because I'm married it is assumed I just watch tv during days and do nothing. I wouldn't marry me. But if I were to get a divorce here I hope I wouldn't turn into a person who sees the ex as a golden cow.
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04-08-2015, 05:06 PM | #94 |
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There is such a fine line between love and hate, that if you divorce and slip to the dark side the passion of the hate can consume you as much as the passion of love. How one could ever use their child as a tool to hurt their ex is beyond what I can personally fathom.
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04-08-2015, 05:57 PM | #96 | |
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I saw this article a couple of days ago and thought it might be an interesting read for this thread. It is about 5 reasons why marriage supposedly doesn't work anymore.
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04-08-2015, 06:09 PM | #97 | |
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The other bolded statement has something to do with why some people get married. But you can cohabitate without being married. But who owns the house? How is it split when you guys split up? Who has the rights over what property and funds when you split up? Fuck if i know, i think there are the same issues whether or not your married when you split with someone you've been living with for more than 10 years. For many, it's a profession of love and commitment, legal and public. After all, in it's intended form, alimony and child support are just furthering the commitment you made to your mate. And in nearly ALL cases of marriage, no one is going into it with the mind set of signing a contract, enforceable by the state. For many men, they have to get married or the woman will leave. The women wants that profession of love and commitment in order to feel secure. Having a child with someone potentially creates a life long bond with that person. Most women don't necessary want to do that with someone who may leave on a whim. And that contract does provide them with some security. As others have said, not all women are the life sucking girl you made the mistake of choosing for a wife. In fact, you could say that at least 55% of the women out there aren't in their marriage with intentions of taking half of their family assets. Other people want to be married and the state contact is just part of the deal. For me... Marriage was important to my now wife. But then i was designing an engagement ring just after 4 months of dating. However, we spent 2 months prior to that just hanging out. I could tell that if i got involved with this woman emotionally and sexually i would want to spend the rest of my life with her. So i made damn sure i was willing to take that risk with her. We had a lot of in-depth talks in those 2 months prior to dating and the 4 months after we started to date. i remember being at a newlywed party and meeting couples who didn't realize their SPOUSE wanted 5 kids or didn't want kids at all!! I remember saying isn't that kind of a 3rd date question? So, if people don't talk about that before tying the knot, there is A LOT of important crap they aren't talking about prior to making their marriage decision. After meeting my wife and finding out the following, i knew she was the one for me and upon asking her to marry me, she said she couldn't imagine marrying anyone else. I knew she had good credit and the only debt she had was a house. I knew she was an independent woman who wasn't dependent on me for life's essential needs; food, shelter, money, etc... I knew she was driven and had career goals, written, attainable goals. I knew she was passionate about fitness, being in shape and being healthy. I knew she was equally as passionate about cookies, cake and doughnuts. I knew she didn't have a desire to have kids, but would adopt should we collectively change our minds. I knew she loved being outside and that she was adventurous. I knew she was a tomcat in the sac, or on the diving board, or in the car, or on the lawn mower, or .... What more do i want other than to lock that shit down? I wanted to make a strong statement of love, trust, and commitment. Neither one of us takes marriage vows lightly and after being married, our relationship has only grown stronger. We both entered the relationship with a house, we both entered with retirement funds, we both entered with a sound financial mindset. We agreed to have our own money after contributing a weighted amount to the bills, retirement, long term savings, and short term savings. What is there to argue about after that? Most relationships don't flourish due to arguing about kids and finances. Our biggest arguments stem from deciding on where to go for dinner because one of use picked last time. After engagement and before marriage we talked about divorce. We've agreed that the only reason we would split up would be due to cheating and who ever was NOT the cheating party would get the dog. But i tell you now, that after being together and actually caring about each other, she knows that the only reason i would cheat is if i wasn't physically satisfied and i've realized that the only reason she would cheat is because of a lack of emotional support. Knowing such, we both cater to each other's desires and all is good. I promised myself that i wouldn't say, "no offense" like everyone else did, but seriously, you just chose poorly, like most people do, based on what you said, cultural inertia. But not everyone does that. What is your country?
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04-08-2015, 06:18 PM | #98 | |
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I do find it interesting that 3 out of his 5 focuses on some aspect of social media. Maybe that's why my wife and i are so happy together. With both despise social media and shy only partakes to keep in contact with her bother and nieces who are 3000 miles away.
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04-08-2015, 06:21 PM | #99 | ||
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I'm home. Here are two interesting essays I found on reddit...
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04-08-2015, 06:40 PM | #100 | |
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True, they are aspects that can be changed assuming an individual is willing to make a change. I am also not a fan of social media. It is useful for staying connected with friends and family who don't live nearby, however it seems to be used as a platform for people to show off and brag about their lives mostly.
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04-08-2015, 08:37 PM | #101 | |
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I'm not trying to sell anyone on marriage. I'm saying that some posters on here have inaccurate perceptions on how divorces affect husbands/wives. I'm also saying that anecdotes and movies are very different from reality in a lot of divorce situations. Make up your own damn mind on marriage! I ain't your therapist...
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04-08-2015, 09:11 PM | #102 |
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Bro, the terms, consent, and means of enforcement of the marriage perimeters has nothing to do with the success of the marriage.
Anyhow, a broader response than M3Post.
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04-09-2015, 05:40 AM | #103 | |
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I'd say social media has been a huge killer for relationships as a whole, because that's all you see the younger crowd attached to. |
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04-09-2015, 10:56 AM | #104 | ||
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You said the video of her trying to sell marriage was inapplicable to real life. How so? I'm not asking anyone to be my therapist; I'm asking what's in it for men. |
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04-09-2015, 10:58 AM | #105 | |
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04-09-2015, 11:01 AM | #106 | ||
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I remember in 2008 I took a cruise. There was no wifi on the ship at that time, yet you'd see big groups of teens standing in a circle staring at their phones, most of which weren't even smartphones at that time! They just had no idea how to socialize any other way! Scary stuff. |
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04-09-2015, 12:42 PM | #107 |
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Geez, the court is innudated with various 'evidences' will all plaintiffs stop submitting viewpoints, articles, editorials etc.
I'm starting to see the light.. eventually. |
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04-09-2015, 04:03 PM | #108 | |
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I didn't see any surveys about What are the perceived enhancements of signing a legal marriage contract.
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04-09-2015, 04:20 PM | #109 | ||
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It doesn't make you more in love. In fact, once you have someone legally locked in, you have less natural motivation to maintain the things you liked about each other No fault divorce; there's nothing about marriage that guarantees a life long commitment Plenty of people have kids without marriage. Don't get me wrong- I believe you need at least two parents, and preferably grandparents, for optimal results, but being married only adds some legal simplification. You can have a religious rite that isn't recognized by the state Being married doesn't make you more money, and you don't have to be married to help someone through a tough time The least important reason is the only one that applies to a state sanctioned marriage, and it primarily is a big risk for the guy So, if those are the reasons, then they aren't thought out reasons |
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04-09-2015, 08:49 PM | #110 | |
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You aren't looking to get married, why do you even care? My wife shared her perspective and said men have more incentive than women. She said that women typically have more work to do when they get married while men have less. Men don't have to look for strange or hire hookers anymore. Men don't have to clean the house anymore. Men don't have to eat ramen noodles anymore. Men don't have to try to stay buff anymore. Men don't have to do the dishes anymore. Men don't have to do the laundry anymore. Men don't have to pay the house hold bills anymore. Women get to clean up after another person after marriage. Women get to cook for 2 after marriage. Women are expected to stay buff after marriage. Women get to clean more dishes after marriage. Women get to do twice the laundry after marriage. Women get to be responsible for making sure the lights and cable stay on. And when children are involved: Women get to stay home with the kids. Men get to come home after work, and rile up the kids. Women get to bathe them and put them to bed. Women get to cook for multiple people after kids. Women get to clean up after multiple people after kids. Women get to wash clothes for multiple people after kids. Of course this came out after about 1 minute of thought while she was taking a break from work this evening. So i suppose it all depends on your point of view. Especially when that point of view is from a person who doesn't break down marriage into a binding, state sanctioned contract. Or a person who isn't jaded from past experience. Or a person who's intention for marriage isn't to acquire 50% of someone else's stuff. Or someone who wants to have a spouse and kids. Or someone who wants to make sure their estate goes to their spouse without making and updating a will every year.
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