Venting a little about life.....

[SixBanger]

Tonight I went to a "close" couples' house for dinner, whom I thought was loyal until tonight. For this purpose we'll call them: Brian and Michelle. I grew up on the same street as Brian since I was 1. I always hung out with Brian and have been close to him for many years. His parents still live on the same block and I see them from time to time. Brian became a firefighter in 09 and met Michelle in the same year. 2010, they got married and started having kids in 2011.
I was very close to Michelle as well and her family since she started dating Brian.
My life hasn't been the easiet, especially starting in 1995. I was 15 and diagnosed with Cardiac Heart Failure. As you can imagine it's been nothing but a living hell. Lifes been really good and I've been healthy since then due to 2 heart transplants. I was in and out of school all of the time, and never got to do well in High School due to being in and out of hospitals. So, I never really was able to finish high school with a decent GPA to get into a decent college. I work currently as a pharmacy tech, but im not really making the money I'd like to make. Having ADHD only spins your wheels. I am currently 34 and living with my mom in her house since the age of 1. I work full time and I'm always staying busy. I'm also contemplating on going back to school as well.

Brian and Michelle invited me over for dinner tonight. They have a 4 y/o and a 5 y/o kid. Wonderful and smart kids. As I was sitting downto eat, right after I walked in to their house. Their 5 year old asked me: " I can't believe you still live at home at the age of 34". I about died to hear that from her. That of itself just means she heard the parents talking and repeated it. Im a little upset and bothered by that to be honest. I want to say something to the parents, but I don't want to lose their friendship. I really want to tellthem how I feel. I don't know where to go from here with this. Any input would be great.

[rickc007]

Fuck em ...

If that's a sore spot for you, start making the changes necessary to move out on your own.
May not happen overnight ...

But if it doesn't bother you to live at home ... Fuck em

[HXS]

But she's a 5-year-old... Don't sweat it man. Kids say the darnedest things.

[GATORB8]

You should be willing to forgive someone you consider your friend for FAR worse than their 5 year old saying something that embarrasses you. They care enough about you to invite you to share in their family dinner!

[1MOREMOD]

Pull her hair, or cry.

[shoei]

Right wrong or indifferent, I feel like you're probably projecting a little bit... It sounds like you've been dealt a shit hand, and truthfully, if I lived at home with my parents in my 30's, it'd eat away at my soul, but you can't fault the five year old or your friends... You don't know the context they may have mentioned it to one another, maybe they had voiced their concern, or maybe the five year old just watched the 40 year old virgin, who knows... Point is, you're making assumptions over something petty... Just let it go, the issue you're having isn't with your friends, it's with your inner self... This isn't worth making a 33 year friendship get awkward... Those don't come by in many lifetimes, rich or poor, that kind of shit can't be had for any price...

[1MOREMOD]

You drunk shoei

[shoei]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

You drunk shoei

We both quit drinking, remember ? Unless you've fallen off the wagon again!!!

[1MOREMOD]

I don't recall you quitting but I did, and indeed fell off the wagon. 1 month is plenty

[aBMWfan]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

You drunk shoei

+1

[shoei]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

I don't recall you quitting but I did, and indeed fell off the wagon. 1 month is plenty

You have phases... No beer phase... No pants phase... The worst is when you do no beard phase though...

[Delta0311]

Well I guess that's one family coming off your Christmas list. Think of all the money you just saved yourself.

[Mike.]

tell that little kid that santa isnt real

[Delta0311]

Originally Posted by Mike.

tell that little kid that santa isnt real

Better yet tell him that you're his real daddy.

[c1pher]

People suck in general. I cannot count the number of friendships gained and lost due to a variety of circumstances. I have one real friend I’ve known for over 30 years and other than that treat everyone as temporary since that’s typically the truth. Being in my 50s, I don’t have the time or energy to expend on drama. I suspect you’re way younger so if I could suggest something it would be don’t worry about them and worry about yourself. You’ll serve yourself much better. Otherwise you’ll be dumping money down the drain lying on a therapist’s couch wondering where your life went wrong.

[wdb]

I'm pretty sure your friends are still really your friends, because people don't invite people they dislike to dinner. But they think it's time for you to get out on your own. And they don't tell you because, well, they're your friends and they know it would hurt you to tell you. But they still talk about it, as you have discovered via the unfettered honesty of a child.

If you confront them you risk losing them as friends. Or you risk a frank discussion among friends -- LIFELONG friends -- about your current life situation. Are you up for either of those?

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by shoei

You have phases... No beer phase... No pants phase... The worst is when you do no beard phase though...

How so? FYI beard in effect

[TheHouseWon]

Don't assume Brichelle were talking about you to their kid. Of course BM are going to have a discussion around you living at home with mom, but not in a negative light. It's normal for couples to talk about that stuff especially if their friends are single. Anyway, the kid probably over heard them.

Youre over thinking it, just move on and don't lose friends over your assumptions

Ass u & me

[Bups]

Even if your friends had said something about it, a kid can hear you say something once and it will stick with them, especially at that age. The difference is a kid doesn't know the difference of your situation while your friends do. I'd be hard pressed to think they would bad mouth given your health conditions, it pretty much speaks for itself and would be hard on anyone.

I'd chalk it up as a kid just not knowing any better. I doubt your friends would say anything talking down about you, but that doesn't mean it's never been said in some other context. Live your life dude, don't read into what a child says out loud. My neighbors kid asked why the guys belly in front of us was so ginormous, loud enough for 5 lanes over to hear, and she's around the same age. Use this as an example to not let small things like this bother you, because you're doing the best you can and utilizing available resources.

Nothing wrong with that hombre. Be proud, and if she says it again just push her over or something when no one is looking.

Originally Posted by MGM135is

Otherwise you’ll be dumping money down the drain lying on a therapist’s couch wondering where your life went wrong.

Or people can just own up to their own emotions and realize the world isn't a horrible place. If the things people say can have that much of an effect on someones own well being, well that's sad. Especially if it comes from a child no less.

[kprocivic]

Well I give you credit for throwing yourself out there. Kids are regurgitators, a 5 year old has no clue what it really means to be an adult still living with your parents. No one needs to lecture you, we're all adults. With that said, friendships, relationships, most ships, pick your battles. If it's really bothering you tell them how you feel. If it's just your pride getting in the way, take it on the chin and move on. I have lost good solid friends by being honest to them so personally for me it's not worth it anymore.

With that said this is a great convo to have with your sig other. Not to say that a few bmw addicts don't love you.

[overcoil]

SixBanger,
First, I have to say from your post that your life reads as really interesting, I read it as you being really strong.
I think you are correct when you say the child probably overheard the parents...if it were me and I felt uncomfortable with the kid saying it...I would have excused myself and left - particularly if the parents overheard the child say it. I realize its just a child, but I think your intuition is correct and if you had left and if your relationship with the couple were to have changed then I see nothing wrong with that in the long term.

I also see a pharmacy tech as being a more intellectual profession then a firefighter.

[Bups]

Originally Posted by ScottSinger

I also see a pharmacy tech as being a more intellectual profession then a firefighter.

Seriously? No wonder you would have walked away for being hurt emotionally. This is such a stupid thing to say. Firefighter / pharmacy tech has nothing to do with this situation or how people address issues. Maybe he's being too "intellectual" by overthinking such a small incident as being more than what it is.


People are too soft anymore, what a shame.