Why do people WANT kids?

[Templar]

Originally Posted by davis449

Carve, buddy, I understand you. I know how you feel. For instance, Sara504's last post about that 2 month old? Yeah, those actions from that 2 month old make here go "aaaawwwwweeeeee" and me want to go throw up. So far everything you've said is precisely me regarding kids (minus the shitty parents, 'cause mine are great) and the same goes for your marriage thread (I'm not gonna double post this in there with word change-outs)...but here's what you need to understand. You are in the minority in this world. You've gotten all the "answers" you're gonna get out of this thread topic (and the the other). You need to be more like me and just realize that your viewpoints and choices just aren't in line with most people's and move on. You will take abuse and field dumbass questions from dumbass married people who do or don't have kids. They will come from every angle: your family, your friends\acquaintances, and even strangers on message boards. It's the price you have to pay for the life you want and love to live. So pay it and move on. Let the parents be parents, married people be married, and you be you. You won't change minds, you won't understand them (truly), and they won't understand you (truly). Just time to get over it.

Pretty much what I was trying to say, just from the other side of the coin. Do what makes you happy.

[KingOfJericho]

Well said, Davis

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by carve

Yeah- I'm not interested in that concession. It would be harmful to the relationship. A "bit" milder? Going from double black diamond to green is not a bit, and there's no way a bike seat would even be possible anywhere near the terrain and bikes I use, which is why i almost never encounter kids while doing my activities. It would no longer be interesting for me, so just another concession of something that brings me joy for the kid

Also, there's no guarantee my kid would like the same things. My dad was resentful I didn't have his interests, like fishing for example (and we had a river 30' from our front door)

So, the first time you went skiing with this perfect GF, did you go balls out, out of bounds, and not look back to see where she was?

When you get that happy feeling from the puppy, and you going to walk around the yard the first few times, or just take off on your bike at 110% and hope the puppy keeps up or can find it's way home?

It's the same with the kid, you get to see him/her struggle and it harkens you back to when you first started riding the bike. Then, maybe, you see the kid make bigger strides than you ever did, pulling off jumps you wouldn't even try, and he's waiting for your tired old ass to catch up.

OR maybe you really are just that selfish. No judgment implied, although I did say it, didn't I?

[JimM6GC]

Right on, Davis. Wise words indeed.

[grimlock]

Originally Posted by Templar

Pretty much what I was trying to say, just from the other side of the coin. Do what makes you happy.

Right... you just have a funny way of saying it

[Sara]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

What does the mister have to say about that?

What Mister?

[carve]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

So, the first time you went skiing with this perfect GF, did you go balls out, out of bounds, and not look back to see where she was?

When you get that happy feeling from the puppy, and you going to walk around the yard the first few times, or just take off on your bike at 110% and hope the puppy keeps up or can find it's way home?

It's the same with the kid, you get to see him/her struggle and it harkens you back to when you first started riding the bike. Then, maybe, you see the kid make bigger strides than you ever did, pulling off jumps you wouldn't even try, and he's waiting for your tired old ass to catch up.

OR maybe you really are just that selfish. No judgment implied, although I did say it, didn't I?

I'd be fine if they could keep up in a year or two and didn't require constant attention, or I could just leave it at home like a puppy. Guess what though- even though I love dogs, I don't have one so I can do all these spontaneous outings. Yes- it's selfish in the sense that I'm looking out for my self interest. Why wouldn't I. I think you're implying selfish in a negative taking-from-others sense. Who am I harming?

[carve]

Originally Posted by Sara504

What Mister?

The rich boyfriend you were crazy about who's almost twice your age, forbid you to gain over 10 pounds in pregnancy because he's all about image, and put a baby in you. Post 103 of this thread. You're single now?

[Templar]

Originally Posted by carve

The rich guy who's almost twice your age, forbid you to gain over 10 pounds in pregnancy because he's all about image, and put a baby in you. Post 103. You're single now?

Oh snap.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by carve

The rich guy you were crazy about who's almost twice your age, forbid you to gain over 10 pounds in pregnancy because he's all about image, and put a baby in you. Post 103 of this thread. You're single now?

Hence the "what mister." I cannot stand how he treats her. So I filed for 100% with no visitation back in January. I don't play when it comes to my daughter. You dont threaten a child and you dont shove and knock down the Mother of an infant, while she's holding the child in her arms. I'm 110% done after that incident.

[w451208]

Kids aren't for everyone. You shouldn't feel bad if you don't have any.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Hence the "what mister." I cannot stand how he treats her. So I filed for 100% with no visitation back in January. I don't play when it comes to my daughter.

I'm sorry to hear that, Sara. I almost thought you were joking about his expectations a year ago, so I suppose it's for the best. Having a kid certainly changes the dynamic, in that the kid typically becomes more important than the partner. I have mixed feelings about that, as this is harmful to a relationship, and therefore indirectly harmful to the kid. Take care.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by carve

I'm sorry to hear that, Sara. I almost thought you were joking about his expectations a year ago, so I suppose it's for the best. Having a kid certainly changes the dynamic, in that the kid typically becomes more important than the partner. I have mixed feelings about that, as this is harmful to a relationship, and therefore indirectly harmful to the kid. Take care.

I'm fine. I've moved on. I still get sad, I still get down. Do I wish things turned out differently? Absolutely. It still hurts. My heart hurts most for her. Maybe one day someone will walk into our lives and love her just as much as I do. But back on topic, there is no mister. Just me and I absolutely want another baby in the next 4-7 years or so

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Templar

Oh snap.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I'm fine. I've moved on. I still get sad, I still get down. Do I wish things turned out differently? Absolutely. It still hurts. My heart hurts most for her. Maybe one day someone will walk into our lives and love her just as much as I do. But back on topic, there is no mister. Just me and I absolutely want another baby in the next 4-7 years or so

I was going to second Carve thinking you were joking. Sorry about what happened, but at least you did what you needed to now before things could get MUCH more serious. No man lay a hand on a woman, guy was a coward, so there's that.


If it's any consolation, I'd probably be open to sharing my highest of quality seed in about 5 years also. I have a great resume and some very reputable references and credentials.

[JasonCSU]

Originally Posted by Billup

If it's any consolation, I'd probably be open to sharing my highest of quality seed in about 5 years also. I have a great resume and some very reputable references and credentials.

I see what you are doing here. You are laying the groundwork to pit Lups against Sara in competition for you.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Billup

I was going to second Carve thinking you were joking. Sorry about what happened, but at least you did what you needed to now before things could get MUCH more serious. No man lay a hand on a woman, guy was a coward, so there's that.


If it's any consolation, I'd probably be open to sharing my highest of quality seed in about 5 years also. I have a great resume and some very reputable references and credentials.

LOL- I'm down, too, Sara. I've seriously considered going to the sperm bank so I can share my genes without having kids. GF sold her eggs in college so she actually already has like 7 biological children, two of which she sees pics of 'n stuff. One looks just like her.

Sara's BF sounded like some caricature of a douchy rich boyfriend in a chintzy rom-com, like the guy in "The Wedding Singer", or "Wedding Crashers". I don't recall the laying a hand on part though- even worse. What happened there? The initiation of force is always immoral, whether you're a man or a woman.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by JasonCSU

I see what you are doing here. You are laying the groundwork to pit Lups against Sara in competition for you.

I would never do such a thing! I enjoy sharing, learned that in kindergarten, has surprisingly helped out graciously in life so far.

[Templar]

Originally Posted by carve

Sara's BF sounded like some caricature of a douchy boyfriend in a chintzy rom-com, like the guy in "The Wedding Singer", or "Wedding Crashers". I don't recall the laying a hand on part though- even worse.

I thought pretty much the exact same thing... Any guy demanding things like how much weight she should gain in a pregnancy is 1) an idiot because it can vary widely by pregnancy and by woman and 2) an asshole.

Sorry for what happened Sara. It's truly unfortunate but you're doing the right thing looking out for your little one.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Templar

I thought pretty much the exact same thing... Any guy demanding things like how much weight she should gain in a pregnancy is 1) an idiot because it can vary widely by pregnancy and by woman and 2) an asshole.

Sorry for what happened Sara. It's truly unfortunate but you're doing the right thing looking out for your little one.

No kidding! 10 pounds, ~7 of which is baby and another ~2-3 of placenta and amniotic fluid, and a couple more of increased boobage? She'd actually have to lose body fat through the pregnancy to do that, which is unhealthy for the fetus AND for her! I just checked for your pics, sara (they're removed), but if memory serves, you did NOT have much weight to lose if you wanted to!

That said, I see some women who gain a ton of weight during pregnancy and never lose it (like 4-5x the babies weight), and others who spring right back to where they were within a few months because they gained "just enough". I think the latter is a reasonable expectation.

[Templar]

Originally Posted by carve

No kidding! 10 pounds, ~7 of which is baby and another ~1 of placenta? She'd actually have to lose body fat through the pregnancy to do that, which is unhealthy for the fetus AND for her!

That said, I see some women who gain a ton of weight during pregnancy and never lose it (like 4-5x the babies weight), and others who spring right back to where they were within a few months because they gained "just enough". I think the latter is a reasonable expectation.

Yup. There are recommendations depending on the size of the woman currently. Gaining too many or too few pounds both have risks and can cause complications.

According to what I've seen even an already obese woman (i.e. definitely not Sara) is recommended to gain between 11-20... And this guy was saying no more than 10? Definitely dangerous...

[Billup]

I like hearing those stories where the women don't even know they're pregnant, and they go to drop a huge deuce, and it's a little meatslug instead.

So precious. <3