Welcome to the "FML" Thread.

Uber V8 · 08-09-2013, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

wear a condom dude.

or go piss 10 times before you fuck her.

there is still a ton of sperm in your tract which WILL impregnate that bitch....

/litos' life lessons

me go raw in a biotch?? never.....unless it's my girl and she's on the pillz.

Too many SARS out there

Nkc · 08-10-2013, 12:33 AM

what's worse is you finally get it up after a hard battle and you pre-E-jac like a noob. fml.

dreamingat30fps · 08-10-2013, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Lol that reminds me, I had this hawt chick over about a month ago and I jerked it like 4 times the day before. Well, we tried to do it but I couldn't get it up, and she kept saying, "oh, I think its just me. Don't even worry about it!". That shit was embarrassing and I had to convince her the rest of the night that it wasn't her, it was my dumbass who had a jerking session the night before.

Sounds like a bad case of gay.

Litos · 08-10-2013, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Lol that reminds me, I had this hawt chick over about a month ago and I jerked it like 4 times the day before. Well, we tried to do it but I couldn't get it up, and she kept saying, "oh, I think its just me. Don't even worry about it!". That shit was embarrassing and I had to convince her the rest of the night that it wasn't her, it was my dumbass who had a jerking session the night before.

if you're single and can't get it up after jerking 4 times an ENTIRE DAY BEFORE, you're probably either gay as shit, you're 64 years old or you have low testosterone....

what a cheese dick....

Litos · 08-10-2013, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Haha damn, this boy cutting me up!

There were a few other factors also that assisted in me not getting it up. I was a little drunk, sore from weightlifting, and not there mentally. First time thats happened to me, and ive been with quite a few bitches.

Its completely normal, doesnt automatically make me gay. Should have listened to my dick, cause i really paid the price for it. Lol

Btw, im 22 and 100% straight.

I dunno man, when I was 22 I was in the Marines working out constantly and running 3 miles on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays.

I was always geeked.

you could have forcefully removed my dick and thrown it 15 yards away in a ditch and I would have STILL gotten a boner lol...

upstatedoc · 08-10-2013, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

I dunno man, when I was 22 you could have forcefully removed my dick and thrown it 15 yards away in a ditch and I would have STILL gotten a boner lol...

Sig worthy!

Joekerr · 08-10-2013, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Sig worthy!

Agreed, but have you noticed the trend? Where Litos posts somehow always tie back to dicks somehow?

His last greatest one was something along the lines of "Nothing sound better to me than 6.2L of big American cock".

Litos · 08-10-2013, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Agreed, but have you noticed the trend? Where Litos posts somehow always tie back to dicks somehow?

His last greatest one was something along the lines of "Nothing sound better to me than 6.2L of big American cock".

i'm here to provide the lulz...

p.s.
it's 6.4 liters

Nkc · 08-11-2013, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Haha damn, this boy cutting me up!

There were a few other factors also that assisted in me not getting it up. I was a little drunk, sore from weightlifting, and not there mentally. First time thats happened to me, and ive been with quite a few bitches.

Its completely normal, doesnt automatically make me gay. Should have listened to my dick, cause i really paid the price for it. Lol

Btw, im 22 and 100% straight.

22 and can't raise the flag? Boy you got bigger problems if your not gay.

Nkc · 08-11-2013, 12:53 AM

Woah there, calm down buddy we're all here to help. If you want to come out of the closet or confess to ED at the age of 22, we're all here for you bro. We even got some doctors here that might help you out with some stuff. There's really no need to start making excuses left and right. The bottom line is stiffy ain't getting stiff at 22, what are your options? I assure you that we're not all narrow minded, just more experienced.

NemesisX · 08-11-2013, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nkc

Woah there, calm down buddy we're all here to help. If you want to come out of the closet or confess to ED at the age of 22, we're all here for you bro. We even got some doctors here that might help you out with some stuff. There's really no need to start making excuses left and right. The bottom line is stiffy ain't getting stiff at 22, what are your options? I assure you that we're not all narrow minded, just more experienced.

I'm pretty sure you're here to make fun of him. There's nothing helpful about your post

dreamingat30fps · 08-11-2013, 10:06 AM

You come to OT and post about your soggy dick and expect NOT to be deemed gay??? Shit you could post how your mandingo dick is so big it killed 3 bitches last night and you would still be gay.

At this point your only chance is posting naked pictures of your girlfriend/wife/chick you almost banged...

Titanium3er · 08-11-2013, 10:10 AM

Come to OT section to read some funny ass stories. All I find is a bunch of guys talking about their dicks while accusing each other of being gay. FML

dreamingat30fps · 08-11-2013, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titanium3er

Come to OT section to read some funny ass stories. All I find is a bunch of guys talking about their dicks while accusing each other of being gay. FML

And yet you still come. Closet gay.

grimlock · 08-11-2013, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titanium3er

Come to OT section to read some funny ass stories. All I find is a bunch of guys talking about their dicks while accusing each other of being gay. FML

Litos · 08-11-2013, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Let me get this straight: i'm here telling you that out of the 100+ times I've had sex with 6 different women, this has only happened to me once ever, and you are trying to convince me that I'm gay or have ED? AND now you are claiming that you're trying to help after making fun of me?

Sir, i think its you who needs help, not me.

goddamn - 22 year old gay BMW SUV owners are killin it in here !!!

Litos · 08-11-2013, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titanium3er

Come to OT section to read some funny ass stories. All I find is a bunch of guys talking about their dicks while accusing each other of being gay. FML

it's pretty much like online dating.

hope you find your man soon.....

Nkc · 08-11-2013, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Let me get this straight:

and that's how this whole discussion began...and that's what she said

Litos · 08-11-2013, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UMBC2015

Lol Cheetos, the X1 is not an SUV.

Call me gay all you want, it doesnt bother me cause i'm not gay. I may not have been able to get it up, but at least i havent whored the shit out of my wife/girlfriend on the internet.

sounds like something an SUV owner would say.....

.........and very gayly......

here's to wearing crocs and scarfs in july, silly goose.....

Litos · 08-11-2013, 02:02 PM

^^^^ #gaysuvlife

Litos · 08-11-2013, 02:05 PM

or #gaycrossoversuvlife

it's what the higher profile gays drive - as opposed to the ultra gay Subaru Forester...

driving either one is like waving that rainbow colored flag to attract the attention of other skinny jeans wearing, ear pierced, man love zombies......

upstatedoc · 08-11-2013, 04:25 PM

Stop please, my sides are hurting.

08-10-2013, 12:33 AM	#112
Nkc NOOB 1601 Rep 1,356 Posts Drives: Cars Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: @BMWclassicdivision iTrader: (0)	what's worse is you finally get it up after a hard battle and you pre-E-jac like a noob. fml. __________________ @BMWclassicdivision
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08-11-2013, 12:53 AM	#120
Nkc NOOB 1601 Rep 1,356 Posts Drives: Cars Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: @BMWclassicdivision iTrader: (0)	Woah there, calm down buddy we're all here to help. If you want to come out of the closet or confess to ED at the age of 22, we're all here for you bro. We even got some doctors here that might help you out with some stuff. There's really no need to start making excuses left and right. The bottom line is stiffy ain't getting stiff at 22, what are your options? I assure you that we're not all narrow minded, just more experienced. __________________ @BMWclassicdivision
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08-11-2013, 10:06 AM	#122
dreamingat30fps Lieutenant Colonel 5330 Rep 1,912 Posts Drives: Miata, Cayenne, Model 3, F350 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: South Florida & NC iTrader: (1)	You come to OT and post about your soggy dick and expect NOT to be deemed gay??? Shit you could post how your mandingo dick is so big it killed 3 bitches last night and you would still be gay. At this point your only chance is posting naked pictures of your girlfriend/wife/chick you almost banged...
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08-11-2013, 10:10 AM	#123
Titanium3er First Lieutenant 19 Rep 345 Posts Drives: '08 335i, '03 Kawa Z1000 Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: SW FL iTrader: (0) Garage List '08 BMW E90 335i [10.00] '03 Kawasaki Z1000 [10.00]	Come to OT section to read some funny ass stories. All I find is a bunch of guys talking about their dicks while accusing each other of being gay. FML
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08-11-2013, 02:02 PM	#130
Litos Banned 220 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	^^^^ #gaysuvlife
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08-11-2013, 02:05 PM	#131
Litos Banned 220 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	or #gaycrossoversuvlife it's what the higher profile gays drive - as opposed to the ultra gay Subaru Forester... driving either one is like waving that rainbow colored flag to attract the attention of other skinny jeans wearing, ear pierced, man love zombies......
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08-11-2013, 04:25 PM	#132
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7566 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	Stop please, my sides are hurting. __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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