Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Agreed on the fish bit, that was poor explaining on my end. What I really meant to say was that unless most women just lie there like a fish and never get on top, why does spelling coconut while she's on top improve the experience of her already being on top.

I am missing something though. There is something here. And I am missing it.

Signed - mightaswellbe37yearoldvirgin

Meh, I think I'm going to go google this and take my chances...

I'm quoting myself, yes, but oh, I get it now. Should have just went to google instead of you unhelpful lot.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I'm quoting myself, yes, but oh, I get it now. Should have just went to google instead of you unhelpful lot.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I'm quoting myself, yes, but oh, I get it now. Should have just went to google instead of you unhelpful lot.

OK, how f'ed up is this world? I just typed coconut into google, wondering what else I should type in order to get the results I was looking for and instead of me seeing a coconut, the top results were sex related. I must be getting old...

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

OK, how f'ed up is this world? I just typed coconut into google, wondering what else I should type in order to get the results I was looking for and instead of me seeing a coconut, the top results were sex related. I must be getting old...

You can't be too careful these days when looking anything up on the Web.

I actually control the Internet access and Firewall at our facility, and I get people all the time coming up to me and telling me that they accidently pulled up stuff they shouldn't have.

I tell them not to worry about it...we are all adults..and I'm not babysitting any of them unless a pattern starts to develop!

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

OK, how f'ed up is this world? I just typed coconut into google, wondering what else I should type in order to get the results I was looking for and instead of me seeing a coconut, the top results were sex related. I must be getting old...

See, I wasn't getting that. I had to get more specific, like, "woman does the coconut challenge on you / riding you" in order to get even one hit that was on point, which was from a radio station.

Otherwise it was all stuff like coconut chop from survivor, how to use coconut in your meals, or some crap like that.

Google does learn search patterns though....

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

OK, how f'ed up is this world? I just typed coconut into google, wondering what else I should type in order to get the results I was looking for and instead of me seeing a coconut, the top results were sex related. I must be getting old...

I'd be more surprised if you typed anything into google and it wasn't sex related. Perhaps we should start a thread consisting of words that don't have some form of internet sexual based themes. Just some randoms that I'm aware of bees, noses, statues, balloons, feet, stuttering, wood......people have something sexual associated to every-damn-thing.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I'd be more surprised if you typed anything into google and it wasn't sex related. Perhaps we should start a thread consisting of words that don't have some form of internet sexual based themes. Just some randoms that I'm aware of bees, noses, statues, balloons, feet, stuttering, wood......people have something sexual associated to every-damn-thing.

BRB...googling "Jody".


Back. Nothing sexual.




Well..almost nothing sexual aside from military meaning. And now I understand why you were so hated on the base.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

BRB...googling "Jody".


Back. Nothing sexual.




Well..almost nothing sexual aside from military meaning. And now I understand why you were so hated on the base.

Yeah, I made no friends at Ft. Campbell or Ft. Bragg.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

See, I wasn't getting that. I had to get more specific, like, "woman does the coconut challenge on you / riding you" in order to get even one hit that was on point, which was from a radio station.

Otherwise it was all stuff like coconut chop from survivor, how to use coconut in your meals, or some crap like that.

Google does learn search patterns though....

It came up as the top stories - 20 hours ago and 8 hours ago. Then below was the wikipedia and what you would expect. I am very careful what I google. Sometimes I do have momentary lapses of reason. Like the time I told one of my employees he was a parking lot ho. We have a certain number of assigned parking spots given out based on seniority. This employee seemed to know anytime someone with an assigned spot was out sick or on vacation and would grab the spot. So I went googling for a parking lot ho meme. I didn't turn out good. My eyes were bleeding and I can't even imagine what my IT guy thought.

Or my brother. Our VP is Russian. He was on a business trip and one of our customers took him to the spa in the hotel and they went in the sauna and the hot tub. So my brother googles Russians in hot tubs also looking for a meme and freaked when the results came up.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

It came up as the top stories - 20 hours ago and 8 hours ago. Then below was the wikipedia and what you would expect. I am very careful what I google. Sometimes I do have momentary lapses of reason. Like the time I told one of my employees he was a parking lot ho. We have a certain number of assigned parking spots given out based on seniority. This employee seemed to know anytime someone with an assigned spot was out sick or on vacation and would grab the spot. So I went googling for a parking lot ho meme. I didn't turn out good. My eyes were bleeding and I can't even imagine what my IT guy thought.

Or my brother. Our VP is Russian. He was on a business trip and one of our customers took him to the spa in the hotel and they went in the sauna and the hot tub. So my brother googles Russians in hot tubs also looking for a meme and freaked when the results came up.

South Park and the internet ruined many of us years ago.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I am missing something though. There is something here. And I am missing it.

joe how long have you been married?

[G35POPPEDMYCHERRY]

girl has to have decent hip mobility and abdominal strength to be spelling anything with her hips lmaoo. Some people are just shy and boring in the sack; spelling coconut will likely hurt my dick if she is weak in the abs

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

joe how long have you been married?

Going to be 10 years this October.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

Glad to hear it worked out for you.

Now you play the next part carefully. Be cordial and nice about everything...even a little reserved while doing anything with her except for the "act" itself.

When it comes to that, let her think she's changed you into a raving lunatic.

Basically let her have the power in the bedroom, but you keep your composure in all other aspects.

In my humble experience...it keeps them guessing and trying to top themselves each time!

you and Jody man, you guys know your shit very well or coordinate beforehand and be like "ok here's what we're telling to this little shit" then reply to me.

i mean it works, but the similarity between the stuff either of you tell me is 1:1 i really owe both of you a beer (or a brewery at this point)

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

You can't be too careful these days when looking anything up on the Web.

I actually control the Internet access and Firewall at our facility, and I get people all the time coming up to me and telling me that they accidently pulled up stuff they shouldn't have.

I tell them not to worry about it...we are all adults..and I'm not babysitting any of them unless a pattern starts to develop!

It's not as fun these days, but I still tease a former colleague about when she typed in whitehouse .COM instead of .gov

And don't try to make us believe you don't watch EVERYTHING EVERYONE at teh facility looks at on the web. For me, I ALSO listen to EVERY phone conversation. That was recently added to my list of duties

[More_PSI]

There was a girl in college that I REALLY wanted to hookup with, but could never close the deal. We would always go for a run, occasionally watch a movie, but never more than kiss. One night she texts me around midnight "let's get drunk at your place". I'm like, yesssss about friggin time. We take shots together, laugh, joke around, go to my bedroom and take each other's clothes off and she "knocks out" while I'm kissing her neck. What in the actual fk?! I lay there frustrated for awhile.. finally fall asleep only to wake up to her SQUATTING next to my bed PEEING in my GD floor. I'm in total disbelief, pretend to be asleep, and she gets right back into bed. It's been 8 years.. maybe I should message her on LinkedIn and ask her about it??

[UncleWede]

Screenshot of response

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by More_PSI

There was a girl in college that I REALLY wanted to hookup with, but could never close the deal. We would always go for a run, occasionally watch a movie, but never more than kiss. One night she texts me around midnight "let's get drunk at your place". I'm like, yesssss about friggin time. We take shots together, laugh, joke around, go to my bedroom and take each other's clothes off and she "knocks out" while I'm kissing her neck. What in the actual fk?! I lay there frustrated for awhile.. finally fall asleep only to wake up to her SQUATTING next to my bed PEEING in my GD floor. I'm in total disbelief, pretend to be asleep, and she gets right back into bed. It's been 8 years.. maybe I should message her on LinkedIn and ask her about it??

do it only if you're hitting her up through linkedin

[CTinline-six]

I have to laugh at all the Tinder profiles that state "must be 6' tall or don't talk to me". These same girls would probably be triggered if guys put "must be under 120lbs or don't talk to me".

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

you and Jody man, you guys know your shit very well or coordinate beforehand and be like "ok here's what we're telling to this little shit" then reply to me.

i mean it works, but the similarity between the stuff either of you tell me is 1:1 i really owe both of you a beer (or a brewery at this point)

I think it comes down to the fact that we were both single for awhile at the right age...and when the ones hitting us up were at the right age.

I had about a 7-8 year run from the age of 27 on before meeting my current wife. And during that time I had no intentions of being serious with anyone, and I let it show.

That kind of attitude goes a long way because then it becomes a game to them. They think..."Well I bet I can change him" and they don't realize they can't win. And then you have the women who had the same attitude as me....so those were "Win_Win" situations already!

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

It's not as fun these days, but I still tease a former colleague about when she typed in whitehouse .COM instead of .gov

And don't try to make us believe you don't watch EVERYTHING EVERYONE at teh facility looks at on the web. For me, I ALSO listen to EVERY phone conversation. That was recently added to my list of duties

Nah....I got way too much other stuff to do..like being on here!

I just typically look at a monthly report I have to show at our Management Meetings. Now if I have a manager come up to me who has concerns about a certain thing, I will setup some monitoring then.

But it's only happened 2-3 times....and occurred on "off-shifts".

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by More_PSI

There was a girl in college that I REALLY wanted to hookup with, but could never close the deal. We would always go for a run, occasionally watch a movie, but never more than kiss. One night she texts me around midnight "let's get drunk at your place". I'm like, yesssss about friggin time. We take shots together, laugh, joke around, go to my bedroom and take each other's clothes off and she "knocks out" while I'm kissing her neck. What in the actual fk?! I lay there frustrated for awhile.. finally fall asleep only to wake up to her SQUATTING next to my bed PEEING in my GD floor. I'm in total disbelief, pretend to be asleep, and she gets right back into bed. It's been 8 years.. maybe I should message her on LinkedIn and ask her about it??

LOL....I had something crazy happen...but didn't involve bodily fluids.

I brought a girl home one night after we had been out, she had been over before. She said she was going to take a bath upstairs. I sat down on the couch and started watching TV...and then realized a lot of time had went by.

I walked into the bathroom to find her lying in the tub with the water to about her ear level...and pretty much knocked out. I got her up and really drilled her ass about how dangerous that was as she had been drinking. But she hadn't drink that much that night.

I later found out that she used Ambien to sleep, and had took one before her bath so that she would be ready for bed. It knocked her completely out.

After that I never let her stay over again.

It was for the best anyway...as her girlfriend was starting to get jealous of her spending time with me.

Yes...she was "Bi"...and her and her girlfriend both had spent the night at my place quite a few different times. But that's another story.....