Depressed About Money

[BayMoWe335]

Originally Posted by BMW F22

I have been there, done that. I have also learned that it's pointless comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone who's richer or poorer. The point is to be happy with what you have and where you are. Worrying will always drag you down. Does everyone want to be a billionaire? Probably. But so what? If you're always worrying about money it doesn't matter how much you have as it is never enough. I'm not saying that it's a bad idea to pursue money. I am saying that you have to stop worrying and start living (a good book to read as well).

Absolutely great advice. So hard for me to execute, but I'm trying.

[shoei]

All kidding aside, who wouldn't want the F12 sitting in the garage next to other hypercars? G5 (well now G6) sitting on the tarmac at your disposal? Bevy of models at your beck and call? Probably is, you will always want more... The secret is finding your happiness...

Case in point - I'll direct you to two friends (technically three) of mine...

Friend #1 - lucrative job in the hedge fund world - making great coin for someone in his late 20's... North of 400K and very frugal with money... Invests wisely, blah blah blah... Left job, more than a 50% paycut (probably closer to 2/3'rds actually) but he's happier than ever... Why? He works three hours a day... Three... Unlimited vacation etc etc... Plus all the money he saved and his expenditures are non existent minus phone bill and utilities... Cars and motorcycles are paid off...

Friend #2 and #3 - opened up a motorcycle garage... All they care about is making enough money to cover rent for housing and rent for the garage and track days... (Food and beer of course)... Two of the greatest group of guys you will ever meet and happier than all hell... Not financially wealthy on paper but wealthy in life...

That's the secret... Find something you love / passionate about and you will be "rich" beyond your wildest dreams... Money can only buy a certain amount of happiness, the rest you have to figure out on your own...

[vsix]

Originally Posted by ChineseGuy

If you learn to be more satisfied with your life, it'll never push you into a new stage in life.

However, if you constantly push yourself to achieve more and more, your greed will take the fun out of your life.

At the end of the day it's all about balance of what you want and what is good for you

I think he is in the market to become a dad.
There'sacertain state in yourlife where you start asking yourself about the purpose of your life...it hit's everyone sooner or later...
Some of us get that final punch in the mid 40's. You got it a little earlier

Look for some real interesting thing's in life and don't seek content in materialistic success

Go out with friend's and enjoy life more!
Learn a new language, buy a new phone...knowledge yourself your interested in!
Check out some girls or boy's, who care's as long as life is worthwhile for you, everything is allowed

Money is cool...but definetely not the ( your ) purpose and reason in and for your life.

Focus on some non materialistic goal's...
like learning cooking for example, martial art, body building or something REALLY cool that would drag you out of your life- questioning depression:
BODY WEIGHT NATURAL WORKOUT!
Then go out and check some chick's and or dick's out.
Rule number one....
yeah there is a reason why you are here...
You are here to freaking have fun and ENJOY every second of your life!!!!!
Have fun brother

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by shoei

All kidding aside, who wouldn't want the F12 sitting in the garage next to other hypercars? G5 (well now G6) sitting on the tarmac at your disposal? Bevy of models at your beck and call? Probably is, you will always want more... The secret is finding your happiness...

Case in point - I'll direct you to two friends (technically three) of mine...

Friend #1 - lucrative job in the hedge fund world - making great coin for someone in his late 20's... North of 400K and very frugal with money... Invests wisely, blah blah blah... Left job, more than a 50% paycut (probably closer to 2/3'rds actually) but he's happier than ever... Why? He works three hours a day... Three... Unlimited vacation etc etc... Plus all the money he saved and his expenditures are non existent minus phone bill and utilities... Cars and motorcycles are paid off...

Friend #2 and #3 - opened up a motorcycle garage... All they care about is making enough money to cover rent for housing and rent for the garage and track days... (Food and beer of course)... Two of the greatest group of guys you will ever meet and happier than all hell... Not financially wealthy on paper but wealthy in life...

That's the secret... Find something you love / passionate about and you will be "rich" beyond your wildest dreams... Money can only buy a certain amount of happiness, the rest you have to figure out on your own...

Damn! Am i in the wrong field? lol

[shoei]

I am factoring in bonuses but not equity... He's also a finance wiz so it helps...

But you are missing the point !!!!! Lol

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by vsix

I think he is in the market to become a dad.
There'sacertain state in yourlife where you start asking yourself about the purpose of your life...it hit's everyone sooner or later...
Some of us get that final punch in the mid 40's. You got it a little earlier

Look for some real interesting thing's in life and don't seek content in materialistic success

Go out with friend's and enjoy life more!
Learn a new language, buy a new phone...knowledge yourself your interested in!
Check out some girls or boy's, who care's as long as life is worthwhile for you, everything is allowed

Money is cool...but definetely not the ( your ) purpose and reason in and for your life.

Focus on some non materialistic goal's...
like learning cooking for example, martial art, body building or something REALLY cool that would drag you out of your life- questioning depression:
BODY WEIGHT NATURAL WORKOUT!
Then go out and check some chick's and or dick's out.
Rule number one....
yeah there is a reason why you are here...
You are here to freaking have fun and ENJOY every second of your life!!!!!
Have fun brother

True!
I love money but i never allow it to make me depressed.
I find more joy in dating all sorts of exotic Women.

[1MOREMOD]

Spend less, work less.

[Whostheboss]

My philosophy is:
It's not about how much $ you make.
It's not about how much $ you keep.

It's all about how much $ you spend. My goal is to owe $1 trillion when i die.

[csu87]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Spend less, work less.

I spend less but work more

I think it is because my wife spends more but works less. Women

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

My philosophy is:
It's not about how much $ you make.
It's not about how much $ you keep.

It's all about how much $ you spend. My goal is to owe $1 trillion when i die.

I can work with that.

[F30lolz]

OP, what is your FICO score?

Sara504

[P1]

I cannot relate to your post, OP, because I don't feel the way you do. I'm so thankful for my wife, my son and the life I'm able to lead in America (I'm from Europe originally) that wanting bigger houses, more expensive cars and bottle service at some #loserville club is incredibly low on my priority list.

I'm someone who likes cars, and I am at times envious of the guy who pulls up in the new GT3 RS. Remember that many young people who drive them are literally living month to month. They buy these cars with zero down, on an 84 month note at 1.9% APR. Is that something to be jealous of? It's not exactly unattainable. But is that how I want to live my life? It's not.

I have a job that enables me to work from anywhere, and so does my wife. I work from half the time, and travel the US the rest of the time to meet with my customers. It's a beautiful balance of seeing new parts of the country, whilst also being able to watch my son grow up when I'm home and spend time with my wife. You'll quickly realize what's import in life once you mature a bit more.

[fcman]

Originally Posted by BMW F22

I have been there, done that. I have also learned that it's pointless comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone who's richer or poorer. The point is to be happy with what you have and where you are. Worrying will always drag you down. Does everyone want to be a billionaire? Probably. But so what? If you're always worrying about money it doesn't matter how much you have as it is never enough. I'm not saying that it's a bad idea to pursue money. I am saying that you have to stop worrying and start living (a good book to read as well).

Good points and I think you highlighted a key factor, but to expand I think a lot of people who get properly, clinically depressed about this kind of stuff do so not because they want to be a billionaire, but because they think they are supposed to be a billionaire and can't seem to make it happen. When you feel this way there's not really any amount of money that will ever make you happy.

[MChat]

Originally Posted by BayMoWe335

Update: I Know this thread is old, but just wanted to kind of do a "5 years later" update.

I have now been "corporate" for almost 10 years now and have done fairly well moving up the ranks. I've more than doubled my salary and have a few other benefits (Options, more vacation, less strenuous work, and closer to home) but still feel the EXACT same way. I also have moved into an ungodly tax bracket and feel depressed that much of my money is being sent to the government on programs I don't particularly agree with in principle.

Though my total net worth has grown significantly due to higher salary, investing gains, and overall great market performance since 2010, I still feel extremely inadequate financially.

I have no debt, own my house and cars, and my major expenses are buying stocks when the market dips. When stocks decrease in value, I typically buy more while also feeling depressed about paper losses. They will recover, but the psychological toll becomes frustrating, particularly as a person's portfolio grows.

I recently added 2 rental property to my income stream, but always have the wrong attitude. Instead of focusing on the postivie of having extra income, I focus on how much of a pain it is to manage and why I don't have 5 or 6 income properties instead of a couple.

Instead of 2,000 shares of AAPL, I want 4,000, or 10,000. I read about the richest and their holdings and just feel like an ant.

I tried a different approach the last few years and enjoyed a little more "blow" moneym like an extravagant trip or a new home theater, but I end up feeling guilty about spending the money in the first place.

Seems like most people tend to focus on destinations rather than journeys. The problem with this is you'll always be disappointed once you reach the destination. An NFL player dreams his entire life of winning the Super Bowl, day in and day out, practicing, working out, improving, year after year and when they finally reach that ultimate milestone for them, the feeling lasts but a moment.

This is the same for the "regular" guy as well. Most people who reach a major goal in their life are disappointed, may even become depressed and they can't figure out why. Some people (such as yourself), set a new goal and keep going, expecting that when they reach the next goal they'll feel better/different. Yet, each time they reach another goal the satisfaction they're looking for isn't there and so they simply set another goal, and another, and another, and so on.

I'm not against having goals; but am only pointing out that it is in the JOURNEY not the destination where happiness is found. The joy of reaching a destination is soon forgotten, but the journey is where the memories that last a lifetime are made.

Like it or not, our brains are computers and like any computer, they run programs. Most people do not like changing their program especially when that program "works" for them. You have a program called "stress about making more money" that accomplishes many of your desired outcomes (debt free, money in the bank, etc...). So you keep running that same program again and again because it "works" for you.

In the personal development "seminars" (for lack of a better word) that I attend, I've sat next to multi-millionaires that could make millions in their sleep, yet couldn't find/have a meaningful relationship. In that same seminar I've also sat next to people who lived paycheck to paycheck. By the end of the seminar both of them (and everyone in between) understood why the do what they do, and even better how to create a new "program" for themselves.

Your current program doesn't seem to include personal happiness/satisfaction; perhaps its time you adjusted it. What you're looking for is not a huge change, just a shift. A small shift in perspective can have a great impact in your life. Instead of focusing on the destination, start enjoying the journey.

[Axius]

I make median household income, have struggles still, but you learn to appreciate anything when you spend a year having nothing. Big money sounds good no matter who you are, and if you want to put the work into getting there then do it. You can also be happy with what you have and live within your means to support your life, hobbies, family, etc.


My only chance at being rich is hopefully hitting on these mega million tickets or some scratch offs here and there, and I'm good with that.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by Axius

I make median household income, have struggles still, but you learn to appreciate anything when you spend a year having nothing. Big money sounds good no matter who you are, and if you want to put the work into getting there then do it. You can also be happy with what you have and live within your means to support your life, hobbies, family, etc.


My only chance at being rich is hopefully hitting on these mega million tickets or some scratch offs here and there, and I'm good with that.

Just marry right.

[vsix]

Originally Posted by MChat

Seems like most people tend to focus on destinations rather than journeys. The problem with this is you'll always be disappointed once you reach the destination. An NFL player dreams his entire life of winning the Super Bowl, day in and day out, practicing, working out, improving, year after year and when they finally reach that ultimate milestone for them, the feeling lasts but a moment.

This is the same for the "regular" guy as well. Most people who reach a major goal in their life are disappointed, may even become depressed and they can't figure out why. Some people (such as yourself), set a new goal and keep going, expecting that when they reach the next goal they'll feel better/different. Yet, each time they reach another goal the satisfaction they're looking for isn't there and so they simply set another goal, and another, and another, and so on.

I'm not against having goals; but am only pointing out that it is in the JOURNEY not the destination where happiness is found. The joy of reaching a destination is soon forgotten, but the journey is where the memories that last a lifetime are made.

Like it or not, our brains are computers and like any computer, they run programs. Most people do not like changing their program especially when that program "works" for them. You have a program called "stress about making more money" that accomplishes many of your desired outcomes (debt free, money in the bank, etc...). So you keep running that same program again and again because it "works" for you.

In the personal development "seminars" (for lack of a better word) that I attend, I've sat next to multi-millionaires that could make millions in their sleep, yet couldn't find/have a meaningful relationship. In that same seminar I've also sat next to people who lived paycheck to paycheck. By the end of the seminar both of them (and everyone in between) understood why the do what they do, and even better how to create a new "program" for themselves.

Your current program doesn't seem to include personal happiness/satisfaction; perhaps its time you adjusted it. What you're looking for is not a huge change, just a shift. A small shift in perspective can have a great impact in your life. Instead of focusing on the destination, start enjoying the journey.

Michael, very wise word's!

[Axius]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Just marry right.

been hitting on the wrong cougars.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by Axius

been hitting on the wrong cougars.

Get yourself a blue hair that's ready to kick.

[///F80M3]

OP needs to trade in his 335 for a m3/m4.

End of depression lol

[zx10guy]

All I have to say is be thankful for the situation you're in.

I was obsessing about making more money, accumulating things. I was pretty much debt free except the mortgage I have on my house (4 bedroom single family with 2 car garage) which I lived in for over 10 years bought new from the builder. I lived in this house as a bachelor for all those years. Have two cars and two motorcycles all paid for. My long term GF moved in with me and I just bought a vacation home near the beach. I proposed to her shortly after buying that house. Announced our engagement on Thanksgiving with family and friends over. Have a size able retirement account and my income has never been better as I was facing the real possibility of paying AMT. All great, right?

Then one day I go in to get checked out at the doctors. I'm pretty healthy. My diet could have been better but nothing as bad as others I've seen out there. Don't drink much and never smoked. Doctor said before putting me under that he was sure it was something else and things would be alright. I wake up with the concerned look on his face saying he's pretty sure I have cancer.

You quickly forget about all that material crap when you're laying on a flat platform waiting for the CT scan to start shaking uncontrollably because you don't know how far the cancer has spread and how long you have to live.

This may sound harsh, but OP get a grip.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

All I have to say is be thankful for the situation you're in.

I was obsessing about making more money, accumulating things. I was pretty much debt free except the mortgage I have on my house (4 bedroom single family with 2 car garage) which I lived in for over 10 years bought new from the builder. I lived in this house as a bachelor for all those years. Have two cars and two motorcycles all paid for. My long term GF moved in with me and I just bought a vacation home near the beach. I proposed to her shortly after buying that house. Announced our engagement on Thanksgiving with family and friends over. Have a size able retirement account and my income has never been better as I was facing the real possibility of paying AMT. All great, right?

Then one day I go in to get checked out at the doctors. I'm pretty healthy. My diet could have been better but nothing as bad as others I've seen out there. Don't drink much and never smoked. Doctor said before putting me under that he was sure it was something else and things would be alright. I wake up with the concerned look on his face saying he's pretty sure I have cancer.

You quickly forget about all that material crap when you're laying on a flat platform waiting for the CT scan to start shaking uncontrollably because you don't know how far the cancer has spread and how long you have to live.

This may sound harsh, but OP get a grip.

Nothing that I can say except I do hope that it is nothing and in the off chance that it's not, a speedy recovery...

You do have it nailed dead on though... It's not so much to spend like it's going out of style, but if you spend your waking moments fretting about money, savings, making more than your neighbor, you miss out on the beauty that life has to offer... As ZX10 is going through, simply put, you could have all the money in the world saved up, but what if? What if something tragic were to happen and all that was for nothing? Gone in an instant? Which is more tragic?